Deep Thoughts: Preparing to Launch

Though Steve and I have joked that we don't remember when we became "grown up" at some point we found ourselves the parents of a daughter that had turned eighteen and told us and I quote, she was a "grown ass woman." Hmm. This is a phase of life that takes some navigating. It's tricky, it's troublesome, and it's new terrain for us. To say that there was lots of shouting in the beginning is an understatement. To say there was (and still occasionally is) misunderstanding on both sides is an understatement. 

Our daughter & lodger

Thankfully Steve and I have a counselor that helps us tremendously. We have found so much strength in having someone outside ourselves to talk to about navigating these new waters. And we come home with new tools for ourselves and our oldest, Kate. 

Kate's room

Thanks to his help we sat down as a family and wrote up a contract. We decided to treat ourselves as a landlord and Kate as a tenant. There is rent involved. And in our parent role we are available to answer any questions she has regarding taxes, cars, budgeting. Her sister is her sometimes unwilling first roommate. And we are her landlords.

Her own music set up

This may sound hardheaded. But I was one of that group that moved home with no rules, no rent, and no understanding of where the boundaries are. Trust me when I say I offended my Mom a lot and had no thought of what I had done. It was crazy making of both sides. We felt this would make things clear for all of us. 

The comments box 

Things have been unbelievably smooth since we put this all in place. We instilled a comment box and the main things that show up there are empty toilet paper rolls. We all joke that Kate's room is the most soothing place to be. She has the freedom of a tenant which has surprisingly given us the freedom to not worry. 

Kate's apartment stock up

It has forced us to be clear about things. When we go out as a family we make sure to say if we are paying or not. And when we do things for her she is always great about saying "thank you." We are getting to be part of her getting ready to move out, which is bittersweet. Though Sam is looking forward to having the whole upstairs to herself. But we know when she is gone we are one step closer to an quiet, empty nest. 

Anyone else in a similar place? How has the transition gone for you? Any helpful insight?