Monday, March 12, 2018

Deep Thoughts: When Sex is Like Pizza

Recently it was brought to my attention that there is a conversation that still needs to take place, both with my girls and among my friends. That conversation happens to be about sex. It's one I had assumed I had already covered with my daughters. We had always had open and honest conversations about sex and dating. 

It turns out that this conversation never ends, and there is still a lot to to talk about. I found this out when we read a book called Girls & Sex:Navigating the Complicated New Landscape with my book group. This of course led to an animated discussion of what this "new landscape" might look like. Which led to a discussion of what changes need to come. 

I immediately talked to my daughter about some of the topics we covered. One which was female pleasure ignored as long as men were covered. This led to a conversation about masturbation with Sam in the car on the way to school. Let's just say we almost had a throw yourself from the car a la LadyBird. But it led to a short discussion and an agreement that we were both available for any further questions. 

The reading of the first book led to another book by Al Vernacchio. He wrote a book called For Goodness Sex which challenges the way we teach sex education. He is the sex educator that is proposing that we discuss sex with the metaphor of pizza rather than as baseball. We suggest we should be approaching sex in a way that is respectful and requires communication rather than competition.  I could never be as simply eloquent as him so I have attached a link to his Ted Talk here. I agree with him wholeheartedly. And who doesn't love pizza? 

What I have found so interesting when talking about this with friends is the response among them. It turns out we all need to continue to have conversations about sex. And there is always something to learn about how we approach it. I hope that the pizza model takes hold. And I hope we all continue to have open conversation about things that matter. 

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